The Story Without Kremlings
A Magical Tiki Tribe shaped like musical instruments or masks stole the Banana Hoard from the Kongs. Where did the Tiki come from, and where did the Kremlings go? The importance of bananas is explained in late-game cutscenes, and they do matter beyond mere sustenance: bananas are life.
The Tiki can hypnotize pretty much all of the animals to turn them against the Kongs, but the Kongs are immune to it, maybe due to their intelligence. Is it ethical to take out all of these animals if not in control of their own will? Are the bananas worth the violence, and how many must suffer to get them back? Joking aside, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong ask no such questions.
Gameplay
The roll jump for crossing gaps feels sloppier than the Super Nintendo Classics, almost like you are given too much momentum. Regular enemies often require a gimmick to defeat them slowing progression, other areas require going fast, so it can be hard to find a rhythm in your platforming almost as if you are puzzle-solving the traversal. Diddy rides your back this time as health and is your little rocket backpack to help you cross over places or course correct a jump slightly, which helps collect things. You cannot press Select to play as Diddy, and once you lose Diddy’s hearts you play as Donkey Kong only.
The crab enemies are annoying, as you have to bop on their head forcing them to raise pinchers, then smack the ground near them to flip them, then bop on their bottom. I later realized I could roll them after they had pinchers up, which is faster. There is a level with waves that wipe you out instantly if not behind a rock that was pretty brutal thanks to crab placements. There are other enemies you cannot beat without flipping them over or blowing their fire out by pressing down and Y.
The rocket barrel flights are rather difficult as you have to feather the gas button or overcorrect with longer holds, to not hit jagged misshapen ceilings, floors, debris, or enemies. The mine cart levels are as hard or harder than you’d expect and require a lot of memorization, frantically stressing with any mistake meaning death. You have short or long jumps but also you can duck and have to at times. All of The Caves’ levels are either mine carting or rocket barreling and pretty tough. It is like the developer replaced all the water levels with mine cart levels, as you can no longer swim in DKC. I died a lot in those Caves but bought lives with my banana coins.
The Island
There are now Silhouette levels with the red clothing of your Kongs being the most striking color, with almost everything else being shadows backlit. In most levels, little dandelion puffs fly if you blow on them and pinwheels liftoff. Ground smashing things and going left or right at some walls finds secrets, or follow bananas to blind jumps into barrels.
Environments have small movements that give the game a lot of beauty and detail. Levels sometimes have multiple depths of field areas you can reach, and barrels sometimes cross planes, overall giving it a partial 2.5-dimensional side-scrolling experience, besides all the layers of parallax backgrounds. Each world is a themed biome of 8 levels followed by a boss.
Accessibility
Cranky Kong has a shop that sells items to help you. The key is 10 banana coins, and unlocks an optional slightly easier level path in each world. He sells extra life balloons, a Squawk to help find collectibles that unlock image galleries, and some invincibility potions. You can use the items from inventory outside of a level by clicking Inventory and then choosing which to bring.
If you get stuck, you can press the plus button by the pig checkpoints or at the beginning after dying a bunch to have Super Kong beat a level for you, known as Super Guide. You can take over as Super Kong where you’d like to start playing instead but keep no items gained either way, and it can even beat bosses for you. Super Kong and Super Diddy are silver with blue accessories and can hand the game to you on their silver-backed platter.
The other option if you need help is to equip several extra hearts and DK barrels into your Inventory of 9 slots. Dying won’t wipe them away, but exiting or activating Super Guide will. I couldn’t beat the final boss without items, but got there without them.
Replayability and the Bonus World
The Golden Temple is the bonus world that appears post-game, but it has an altar that requires orbs to open. After beating the game, Cranky’s shop sells an orb for 50 banana coins in each world or you can replay the levels in that world and try to find them. I just bought them for 400 banana coins.
The first bonus level has a tilting rope platform mechanic, besides tilting pillars, both of which aren’t in the main game. Twomp-like pillars drop from the background and can shatter platforms or hit you. The second level has geysers with wall spikes. The third has timed platforms and wall spikes that enclose around you. The fourth has bombs thrown at you from the background in a mine with some partial mine-carting. The fifth has rotating rhythmic platforms, some with grabbable grass. The sixth has prehistoric tar pits with falling tar and hot air balloons. The seventh is a robot factory. The eighth is stone rotating cogs in lava. The ninth has floating fruit platforms as bombs and daggers are tossed at you.
If you don’t take too many cheap shots by daggers, beating 9-9 unlocks Mirror Mode to replay any level including bosses with No Diddy and 1 Less Heart, No Inventory Items, and mirrored right to left. Getting a DK barrel in Mirror won’t even give Donkey Kong a Heart, but there are still checkpoints. Any collectibles you missed can be collected in Mirror or Non-Mirror Modes, but K-O-N-G has to be collected again for Completionists, which changes the Red Star to Blue on the World Map. Beating a level fills in that fourth collectible spot with a mirror. You can do Time Attacks of levels, and if you get bronze, silver, or gold times, that medal goes in the third slot, the second being if you found every puzzle piece for the level. I got Silver time on the first level, the blue K-O-N-G, and Mirror, but no clue where the puzzle pieces I missed were. I stopped at 87% Completion.
Final Thoughts
DKC Returns is rated E but so difficult I’d be surprised if any kid could beat the hardcore levels and certain bosses without Super Guide or grinding for banana coins to buy hearts and DK barrels. I feel it should have been tested more for fairness of difficulty, instead of having that fallback, or in addition. The only rideable companion is Rambi, and his controls feel sloppy, as does the roll jump. Even though there are no underwater levels, the levels with water are instant death if you fall into it as if the Kongs completely forgot how to swim.
DKC Returns HD is more difficult than the first three on the SNES, even with the Modern Mode bonus hearts. Cranky’s Items save its playability, similar to the Switch improvements of Tropical Freeze. Overall the game feels sort of three-quarter-baked and reminded me more of what is missing than simply enjoying what was added. It is a beautiful return to a beloved series of mine, but I am less likely to Return to play it when I have its successor and its predecessors available.
Holyrustedmetal is an Alaskan Variety Streamer specializing in First Impressions and First Playthroughs spanning Retro, Indie, and AAA. You can find him on Twitch, Kick, YouTube, X, and Bluesky.
