Bank robbery is an initiative of amateurs. True professionals establish a bank.
-Bertolt Brecht
The world’s most adorable criminal is back and worse than ever! Last time we saw Turnip Boy, all he was getting involved with was some casual tax evasion. After the unexpectedly epic conclusion of his first game, he’s been recruited by the Pickled Gang, whom he met during his tax evasion days, for some opportunistic bank robbery. Since Turnip Boy Robs a Bank is a direct sequel to the first, I will do my best to avoid spoilers for the first game. Feel free to read on even if you haven’t gotten around to Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion yet.
Into the Vaults
If you’re going into Robs a Bank expecting something similar to Tax Evasion, you may be somewhat disappointed. Tax Evasion was a Zelda-like adventure game, where you explored a world, dove into dungeons, and helped people in the area, usually by tearing up their paperwork. Robs a Bank, on the other hand, is a small-scale adventure with roguelike elements. You are in a bank, after all. The main bank stays the same for all runs, but there are elevators scattered around the area that take you to random locations.
You still fight enemies, dodge obstacles, and help locals like in Tax Evasion. Now, though, instead of the freedom to roam, you’re on a timer. You have three minutes to loot as much as you can from the Botanical Bank. Shake down customers, steal precious treasures, crack safes, and cut down the guards, anything to get that cold hard cash. Then the cops show up and it’s time to go. Of course, you can stay and fight the (peach) fuzz and living bacon slices. Hold your own long enough, though, and eventually the bank’s owner, Stinky the Onion, floods the place with deadly gas. At that point, best hope you’re close to the exit. Otherwise our turnip is toast.
Back at the Base
Once you’ve left with your ill-gained loot (or died and lost half your cash and all your treasures), you regroup with the Pickled Gang at their hideout. Here you can change your weapons, buy upgrades like a larger briefcase to hold more cash or more time before the fuzz show up, and shop the Dark Web for gear. Just be careful clicking around on the internet. Not every site is safe for young Turnips (don’t worry, I mean blue screens and viruses. Nothing lewd.)
As soon as you’ve spent your cash, whether it’s at the upgrade station or the Dark Web, it’s time to begin the loop again. All told, it’s a very simple game. Buy upgrades from the Dark Web to get to the bosses. Fight the bosses to get card keys to get further into the bank. Keep the loot flowing until you find your way to Stinky’s hideout and the motherlode. Along the way, there are fellow fruits and veggies, some familiar, some new, who will ask you for help. Some quests are quick and easy, while others, you’ll be holding onto until the very end. Just be patient and keep exploring.
Where Are We Going?
I mentioned before that the elevators will take you to random locations, giving the game a little bit of its roguelike likeness. At the start of the game, you only have a handful of basic offices to explore. Some will have safes to laser open, others will have lasers to disarm and a vault to blow up. As you delve deeper into the bank, the elevator will start to take you to other places. Within the walls of the bank, you’ll find locker rooms, cultists, even Hell. The art on the door will give you a general idea of the destination, and the color of the frame hints at how valuable the loot inside is, if loot is available.
So, Tax Evasion or Bank Robbery?
While Turnip Boy Robs a Bank is not the same kind of game as Turnip Boy Commits Tax Evasion, it is a fully enjoyable standalone experience. It still has all the charm and comedy of the first game. The steady growth of tools, weapons, and upgrades and gradual improvement of loot and areas to explore give a satisfying feeling of progress. You never end up feeling like you’re running in circles, lost, or stuck. It’s not a long game. I managed to complete everything in around five hours. Still, I enjoyed every minute and would gladly go back for a second run at the bank, or whatever crime Turnip Boy decides to commit next.
PIXEL PERFECT
Recommended
Maggie Maxwell spends most of her days buried in her fiction writing, only coming up for air to dive into the escapism of video games, cartoons, or movies. She can usually be found on Twitter as @wanderingquille and @MaxNChachi or streaming on Twitch with her husband, also as MaxNChachi.
