Impaler (2022) [PC] review

“And the nice thing about a stake through the heart was that it also worked on non-vampires.”

-Terry Pratchett, Going Postal (2004)

Indie megahit Vampire Survivors has managed to set off several delightful trends. Naturally, we can pin the flood of snack-sized auto-battling roguelite games on Vampire Survivors’ unprecedented success, and while the flood of me-too clones might be a little much to bear at times, there’s been some genuinely good games that have come out of this. Perhaps more importantly, we’ve also taken a great step toward normalizing lower prices for simple-yet-effective games that work well in small doses. Case in point: Impaler, a roguelite shooter that wants you to have your stake and eat it too. If you’ve got three bucks to spare, Impaler’s happy to have you.

A plot? Who needs one? Impaler flings you into an arena and tells you to get to work dealing with the demonic legions as they spawn in seeking blood. You’ve got a couple means of making this happen. Your gun, for instance, is pretty easy to understand – just point, shoot and make sure to clean your shoes when you’re finished. There’s a variety of guns to check out, from an SMG to a rocket launcher and more, and you’ll unlock more as you continue playing to help keep things spicy.

Your stake launcher, on the other hand, is a little more complex. By aiming at the ground, you’re able to summon a delicious well-done stake to impale whatever happens to be standing on that point. As you might imagine, this doesn’t end well for whatever happens to be on the receiving end. Stakes tend to do a lot more damage than gunfire, but their awkward aiming and timing can make it a little tough to land them in a pinch. Still, they’re the way to go when you’re dealing with tougher foes.

That’s all well and good, but Impaler complicates things just a bit more. What happens if you manage to stake yourself, for instance? Well, obviously you go flying into the air! That’s how physics works! From the sky, you can launch an aerial assault with gunfire or more stakes, but you can also Mario-stomp enemies to take them out. Several enemies are vulnerable to a good old-fashioned stomping and it proves to be the best way to deal with them, not to mention that catching some air is a great evasive maneuver to mix into your sprinting and bunny-hopping.

These fundamentals combine into a flow-based experience that feels a little better than the sum of its parts. As with other modern arena shooters like Doom Eternal, Impaler’s at its best when you’re no longer thinking about your actions and instead interacting with the game directly. Prioritizing your targets so you’re staking big nasties, gunning down little nasties and stomping stomp-able nasties end up blending together into a glorious dance of destruction, one that’s further enhanced as you collect upgrades and bonuses as each run goes on.

You’ll need them all as the arena shifts into more and more complicated forms with each wave of monsters, adding in obstacles, tall platforms and more. The map and graphics are both relatively simple, but they’re designed to allow you to recognize threats and obstacles as quickly as possible. Sure, you might not be bowled away by the majestic artistry of Impaler’s graphic design, but you’re also not going to explode into squishy giblets when a demon sneaks up on you while you’re distracted.

All that said, Impaler’s not going to shake up the industry or anything, but it’s a perfectly enjoyable run-based throwback to the shooters of yesteryear. The modern retro-shooter revival demonstrates how important simple, responsive fun can be when it comes to making a game work, and this is a stake that Impaler bounces off without a hitch, allowing it to give you a head-stomp of enjoyment. Or, well, something. Point being, Impaler’s not going to make you regret your three-dollar purchase.

Thank you to Apptivus and Retrovibe for providing us with a copy of Impaler for this review.

PIXEL PERFECT

Recommended

Cory G. believes the pen is mightier than the sword…well, depending on how sharp the pen and sword are. A child of the ’90s and a prolific writer, he strews his work about like Legos made of words, just waiting for your brain to step on them. He enjoys a devilish challenge, so when it comes to talking about some of the more difficult games out there, you might just run into the Infernal Accountant Mage. Some advice: hold on to your soul around this guy, and don’t sign anything. Read more at popzara.com.