“Wait wait wait wait wait…
Whatβs this about a Mages Swimsuit Calendar?”
–Mr. Panda (circa last November)
Well, the day is finally here. We’ve reached 50,000 views and 800 followers! Thank you, dear NPCs, our beloved readers, for your support over all this time. Thank you also to our contributors who have helped craft the direction of this blog and fill out its resumΓ© of reviews. Today also marks the day that I fulfill a long-running promise of sorts. Way back in 2016 when we expanded into analyzing other areas of pop culture, I pursed the question: “Whatβs next? Literature? Cosplay? Our own swimsuit calendar modeled by yours truly?”
Now you get your wish. Announcing the 2018 Mage Swimsuit Calendar. To celebrate. NSFW??
JANUARY
The Well-Red Mage doesn’t just have a Brobdingnagian vocabulary, he also has killer abs and can rock a two-piece.
FEBRUARY
The Timely Mage is a stickler for accuracy and a one-console kind of guy.
MARCH
The Moronic Cheese Mage enjoys a Gouda Frappucino in the California sun.
APRIL
The Spoony Bard Mage has a fancy for eating utensils and songs about being a waif.
MAY
The Green Screen Mage likes Windows XP and Photoshop fakery.
JUNE
The White Out Mage sizzles through typos and grammatical errors alike.
JULY
The Shamrock Show MageΒ binge watches television but manages to keep his figure.
AUGUST
The Five More Minutes MageΒ makes narcolepsy look fashionable again.
SEPTEMBER
The Midnight Mystic Mage loves a good horror story and summoning Cthulhu.
OCTOBER
The Evergreen Sage MageΒ enjoys contemplation on 18th century Icelandic literature.
NOVEMBER
The Black Humor Mage likes long walks on the beach at night and dark comedies.
DECEMBER
The Rage Mage hates all life so here he is posing next to a dead fish.
Don’t you wish your waifu was hot like me? Thanks for everything, readers. I hope you got a good laugh or two. π
-The Well-Red Mage
Did you enjoy this post?Β Consider becoming a Warrior of Light and join us in restoring integrity and quality to entertainment journalism. We specialize in long-form, analytical reviews and we aim to expand into a podcast and webzine with paid contributors! See our Patreon page for more info!
Yeeeeeesssssssss!!!!!!
Ahem.. *Coughs* I mean….
*Sternly* well done sir, I raise my hat to you!!!
& still loving the Well Red & Mr. Panda connection.. *Sings* Memories are made of these.. Kinds of joys!!!
Congrats! And that swimsuit calendar is hilarious! The Rage Mage next to a dead fish… so beautiful! π
Hahaha thanks a lot for being a big part of our team reaching this number! I’m happy to have had the conversations we’ve had and thanks for getting a kick out of our sizzling summer special.
You are very welcome! π I always look forward to your blog posts!!
You’re so kind… just like I thought Kirby would be π
Narcolepsy was always fashionable.
Ha ha ha!
Well that and a miniskirt and moped, I guess! π
Congratulations & Super fun post!
Can’t wait to see what comes next!
Thanks very much! I don’t even know what’s next so we’ll both just have to wait and see π
haha this is awesome! congrats! Great post, and that dead fish killed me, good icing on the cake
I’m happy to know you got a laugh out of it! That makes the photoshop work worth it. Well, I laughed too. Thanks very much for commenting and stopping in. We literally couldn’t have reached this number without you!
As I always say… mopeds make the mage.
As I always say… just kidding, I have no idea how to explain myself for what I’ve done.
Uh, congrats! *backs away slowly* π
*Watches you flee, points and screams that scream from Invasion of the Body Snatchers*
Congrats! Outside of that, I’m really at a loss for words.
I suppose that was really the goal of this post, putting our readers at a loss for words.
I am so beautiful π
Say it loud, say it proud!
Haha, this is brilliant.
lol the waifu is strong with this one
There can be only one!!
Congrats!! Haha the perfect post to celebrate this triumphant milestone! π
Thanks very much! It was fun sharpening my photoshop skills at least. I got some laughs out of it too! π
Even though I have only been following your blog for a few days now, I can understand why it’s so popular. It is a really awesome blog yiu have here. Congratulations on getting so many hits, that really is quite an achievement π And this swimsuit calendar is seriously funny π
Thanks so much for the kind words! It’s very encouraging and it makes us want to keep pushing for better content. I’m happy to know our sexy swimsuit calendar earned a few chortles π
I have to say I am impressed with your self-confidence, rocking a two piece so soon after having a baby! And the follower count is cool too. π Congratulations!
Haha thank you! I’ve had some work done.
Well, um… yes. OK, I’m– I gotta… um.. hmm.
(Congrats on 50K!)
Milo.
Hahaha thanks, sir! Go take a cold shower.
Wash the sin away…
Yikes! When you put it that way… maybe I should take this down…
Wait… who said that was a bad thing?
You naughty, naughty mages π I think I might just print these out and use them for my 2018 calendar (haha).
But seriously, congrats on 50,000 views! That’s amazing!!
Hahaha I thought about putting them all in a printable PDF with the actual calendar boxes but that’s too much work. I wish I owned all the images so I could market them. I saw an x-ray swimsuit calendar some years back at Barnes & Noble with skeletons posing and thought it was hilarious, so that was the germ for this. Thanks!
Genius. Seriously! π
We have too much fun around here! π
Congratulations! I was planning on doing something similar when I hit my next milestone. I’ll leave a link to this when I get around to writing it :).
Thanks! I’m looking forward to your link. Celebrating these in bizarre ways is always fun.
This just made my day!
Hahaha who knew you had such a great bod, too? You were holding out on the world.
I had no idea either!
I had to go and have a lie down after that lot. My old ticker could barely handle it.
All those Gouda Fraps! But hey, you look smoking in a swimsuit π
Yowza! This is a little too hot even for the internet!
Congratulations on 50,000 views! That’s an enormous number!
We like to keep it muy caliente! π Thanks for the congrats and thanks for being a pal through our adventures! Cheers!
Congratulations on 50K views!!! Well done mages! I’m glad to see my one of the best quotes I’ve ever made in life ever headlining this amazing work of art. Needs more NSFW warning. π
Best quote ever. I just knew I had to track it down through our backs and forths over the past year and some change. Thanks for being a part of our journey and I’m happy to be a part of yours! Best wishes, Mr. P! And now when can we expect a Panda swimsuit calendar? HMMM?!
I fear what other quotes I’ve left in the annals. <- By the way, feel free to use that in the future. π And a Panda swimsuit calendar. That's definitely interesting, except it would actually be less revealing since pandas tend to be bare already, hmmmmmm..,
Hm hm let’s see… your social security number… a confession that you like to sleep in mayonnaise… that you’re really looking forward to the Super Mario and rabbids cross-over…