“The Worst Photographer in Video Game History”

prompto-photographer-ffxv-1

 

 

Rage Mage right  Rage Mage Reviews!

Ladies and gentlemen, NPCs of all ages: Prompto Argentum.

He’s a slack-jawed, prepubescent, Green Day drop out punk rock floozy with hair like a chocobo’s butt and a self-described eye for photography. It is merely self-described, in his high-pitched Chuck E. Cheese voice. He also has the least useful skill out of the four-member boy band of Final Fantasy XV. While you’ve got mama Ignis who can cook, Gladio who can… well heck even Noctis can fish. And then there’s Prompto. He takes photographs.

I’m sure that will come in handy when trying to save the world.

BowedCooperativeIndianelephant.gif

Not only is he less useful than an arthritic hairstylist, but he’s a bad photographer on top of that. Or perhaps it takes real talent to immortalize these awkward scenes. Bear witness to the worst photographer in video game history! Can you think of someone worse? Maybe the kid from Pokémon Snap?

 

5p3uw4tjpg
Real mature. Maybe you could help beat this monster instead of filming its butthole?

16603093_10158164025695099_6188220965758162748_n16640810_10158164008185099_3396264559842751187_n16640812_10158164005250099_4545028040181439137_n16649309_10158164018410099_2025403086617394069_n16684123_10158164019715099_37383543244896122_n16684257_10158164028305099_1262322466952664624_n16684262_10158164032230099_1663858866943010251_n16708181_10158164034065099_4335839427665064623_n

16708191_10158164014515099_4436410811437467418_n
Where will you be when diarrhea strikes?

16708292_10158164029150099_2169908106300410748_n16708518_10158164024605099_9172745758866820063_n16708577_10158164002535099_3765413922900514939_n16711485_10158164021950099_8184742200757214982_n16711573_10158164026795099_5914029986991791711_n16711884_10158164023750099_1503658141464127464_n16729413_10158164010980099_124414354923428936_n16730188_10158164016575099_8241113374157935266_n16730644_10158163986195099_5619149044029370503_n16730651_10158164035950099_4433266171606194447_nffreiner10ffreiner21

tyoy21tp1q5y
This is why he dies in every freaking battle.

Do you even snap, bro?

 

Did you enjoy this post? Consider becoming a Warrior of Light and join us in restoring integrity and quality to entertainment journalism. We specialize in long-form, analytical reviews and we aim to expand into a podcast and webzine with paid contributors! See our Patreon page for more info!

becomeapatronbanner

 

0 thoughts on ““The Worst Photographer in Video Game History”

  1. hello well-red mage its dennis the vizsla dog hay my dada sez this guy is lukky he wuznt in the hawnted villadj frum the fatal frame games or the ghosts wood hav finishd him off in like five minnits!!! i hav no ideea wot he is tawking abowt as yoozhual!!! ok bye

  2. I actually really liked Prompto but I suspected that male gamers would like him less. I also played with Japanese voices and I’m sure that helped. I didn’t like Gladio as I felt his tough love was more him just being an unsympathetic jerk, but I also figured guys would like him better as well. Funny how it works out 😅.

    1. Hm hm hmm interesting. I don’t know about gender profiling since I know several guys personally who liked Prompto as their favorite character. There was a guy who commented here already that said he liked Prompto as well. I also thought Gladio was pretty unsympathetic, considering Noct’s double loss. Ignis was my favorite but I’d like to think that’s for good reasons and preferences, not because my gender demands what I like or not. I also hated Cindy, because she was far too objectified, though I’d guess most guys would love her as she’s eye candy.

      1. True, I also have a guy friend who thought he was overall funny so was okay with him. I mostly appreciated the emotional support he provides to the team overall. Ignis was my favorite as well for many reasons 😊. I’ve also come to tolerate sexualized women in games as long as they’re capable and not a sex object to the guys in game–in this case a knowledgeable car mechanic who just so happens to like the way she is dressed…

  3. I knew someone like this at college. He’s the kind of person that I want to accept my friend request just so I can unfriend him afterwards. This guy could at least have the decency to take nudes.

      1. Ha, ha, ha! Oh the salt! It’s extra funny to me because Cindy is almost my wife to a T! She was born in Oklahoma and had the exact same accent. Her father (my father in law) is a mechanic and she knows more about cars than I do. Hell, she even had the same body a few years ago when she was doing personal training! What you call ‘stereotype’ I call ‘dear’. As an added bonus, when my father in law had a beard he looks almost EXACTLY like Cid, just taller and not quite as old.

        1. Sounds like we’ve been blessed with incredible wives! But I’m sure your wife didn’t fix cars in booty dukes and bikini top, plastic cleavage on full, constant display… At least that sounds weird to me, dressing like an oversexualized playboy model roleplaying a mechanic while fixing cars. We can’t help our accents of course, so nothing wrong with that lol

  4. Those pictures aren’t actually as bad as Prompto gets. I have level 10 “Promptography” and constantly get photos of grass. And not artsy pictures. He just decided to take pictures of the ground, because… Prompto.

    1. Oh believe me I had to sift through all the pics of shoulders and boulders just to find these awkward sets, where he can at least center his subject… oh boy. Promptography hahahaha!

  5. I JUST started playing this past weekend and I have gotten some pretty good shots out of Prompto, but no, not all of them great. I actually have a few I saved and am going to put into a post on my own blog, but haven’t copied them from my sons PS4 yet.

    C’mon, some of those are comedy gold!

    1. Oh yeah this is definitely a tongue-in-cheek post, especially coming from the Rage Mage. Personally, I find it inscrutable that Prompto is the first to die and he’s busy taking pics. Some of them are indeed great, but it’s hilarious to see all the bad ones. I’d love to see your own photo-masterpieces!

  6. Some of the pictures he’s done for me are… Beyond questionable. They’re just terrible. But he seems to abide by the rule of threes, so all’s not so bad! 😀

  7. Lol, I actually really love Prompto and the photographs in FFXV are one of my favourite elements of the game 🙂 Its an expression of the idea that four friends chronicle their journey together and bond, growing closer. And obviously… it results in some hilarious shots XD

    1. My favorite character is Ignis with Noct and Prompto at the bottom. Just couldn’t gel with the guy. He takes some great photos now and then but seeing all of the crappy ones together gave me a chuckle or two. I hope it did the same for you! Any hilarious shots you’ve had thus far?

Leave a kind and thoughtful comment like a civil human being